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Ten Quite Interesting Things About Me

1) Since the age of seventeen I have given up on men my own age. They've never really appealed to me intellectually, and now I don't find them attractive anymore, either. I've been with my fiance for three years now and we are getting married in March. I think that Alan Rickman is quite possibly the sexiest thing on the planet. Moreso if you dip him in chocolate. If age difference are a problem for you, this probably ain't the place to be.

2) Despite the fact I know absolutely nothing about it, I work for plumbers. They are all highly amusing, occassionally infuriating beings that colour my day with a kind of orange glow. My boss Gill is a fantasically strange being, and features quite a bit. So do the bastard London customers.

3) I wrote my first story when I was six. It was about a princess who was locked in a tower by a wicked witch. The handsome prince came to rescue her and, as such, she had to marry him. Except she didn't want to. So she ran off with the Blacksmith. I have been writing ever since, but have yet to top this jewel of literary narrative.

4) Knitting is coming back into fashion, because I said so.

5) I have a different personality, depending on the country I'm in. At home in Britain, I'm strange and a bit of a loner; in Canada I am a complete extrovert, the life and soul of the party; in France I pretty much vomit until someone takes me home again. Hopefully going to find out what Italy does to me next year.

6) My icon was taken by my fiance, who is a photographer. It's from a set of dirty pictures taken of me dancing to Marilyn Manson's cover of 'Tainted Love' in nothing but my thigh-high, six inch heeled leather boots. Obviously, it's been cropped a little.

7) The only thing that levers me out of the house on a weekend is my Tai Chi class. I'm not very good yet, but I enjoy it a lot. I'm lucky enough to live right by the sea, so sometimes I go practice on the beach so tourists can look at me strangely.

8) My recently acquired cat, Toots, was stolen from my neighbour living in the flat downstairs, who was foolish enough to allow a dog into his home. Toots is now disgusted with him and won't talk to him. She was being perfectly charming and affectionate to me until I started feeding her. Now she has her paws under the table, she knows she can treat me with the disdain humans really deserve. She is a beautiful black cat with white paws and white whiskers, and I am completely smitten. She's my kitten.

9) I have a bizarre attraction to celebrities I know I would hate if I actually met them. These include Alan Rickman (too grumpy and serious), Johnny Depp (takes himself a bit seriously) and Ralph Fiennes (completely up himself!). How do I know this if I haven't met them? I read a lot of film reviews and interviews, and I just know. They're fabulous actors and pretty to look at, but five minutes with them would make me want to bury myself somewhere cold and unpleasant.

10) Congratulations for making it this far. I hope I've been interesting enough for you. But what to put as point ten ... How about that when I was a baby, the only thing that would make me stop crying and put me to sleep was Meatloaf's 'Like a Bat Out of Hell'? It probably explains a lot!